Thursday, November 17, 2016

America is just a word, but I use it

Once again, the concept called America has left me behind. On November 8th, America elected Donald Trump to be the next President. He won by one million fewer popular votes that Hillary Clinton but won the electoral college count. 

As I write this on November 17th, only a week has passed, and still I find it impossible to believe these words. It is not a version of reality that anyone I know thought could play itself out. Even when terrorists flew planes into buildings on September 11, 2001, somewhere in my rational mind, I could accept the motivations that led to these actions. As shocked and depressed and saddened as I was, the world order that created the conditions for the kind of rage that motivates young men to kill innocent victims and themselves was familiar to me. The struggle between the imperial West and the oppressed, developing world has often played itself out in acts of desperation that cause great destruction and anguish in the most unexpected circumstances in the supposedly secure parts of the world. I can understand the motivation for terrorism, though I oppose it wholeheartedly.

But this is something new. Half of the American animal has risen up and bitten the other half in an attempt to mortally wound the whole body. I don't have a frame of reference for this kind of blind self-destruction. 

For about five days, I was in numb, terrified shock, alternating with bouts of all-consuming rage. In the past day or two, that has given way to indifference, and I have begun to be able to listen to the news radio again, just a little. By indifference, i mean the attitude that says "OK Americans, you wanted this, now you can eat your own shit, I give up." This attitude is actually making it easier to wake up in the morning, though I know it's not productive in the long term.

So I am now trying to piece together a framework by which to understand how a sizable portion of a developed, educated country is able to invite a figure with every trait of a fascist authoritarian into its top position of power. I have heard all of the explanations and tried to absorb them: The left has abandoned the working class. The left has preoccupied itself with social movements and identity politics and a large portion of the population no longer trusts the American political system. The personality and character of a candidate are not as important as his or her ability to completely undermine the status quo. The liberal economic agenda has sent manufacturing overseas. The liberal agenda is too soft on terrorism and radical Islam abroad. I hear and understand all of these arguments, yet they do nothing to defeat the utter cognitive shut-down that occurs when I think of one single human being actually casting a vote for the person of Trump. I "understand" the reasons but my emotions and intellect do not register them as real.

I think this is the same part of my personality that can't enjoy horror movies. I don't believe that a person without a flashlight or a weapon would willingly walk into a cabin in the middle of the woods where a serial killer lives. I don't believe it and I can't relate to it, so the movie makes no sense and is not entertaining. In the same way, voting for Trump doesn't line up with my understanding of what it means to be a human being. Anyone mindful of putting himself and his loved ones in danger doesn't hear the rhetoric coming out of that guy's mouth for a year and then willingly vote for him.

I have had a few conversations with conservatives over the past few months, and not a single one has expressed any fondness for Trump or admitted to voting for him. This is one of the most confounding aspects of this election. If this was a strategy for victory, then it was genius: Fool your opponents into thinking that no one likes the your candidate, openly deride your own candidate, and then when the other side is lulled into complacency, vote for him in secret in massive numbers. 

The left and right are so utterly divided that even a desire for dialogue seems to be met with silence or extreme reticence. I have tried to engage people I am very close to in discussions of policy, and to understand the sources of their discontent. More specifically, I have asked many people to send me factual, reliable sources to document their positions, and I have gotten nothing in return. There doesn't seem to be much desire for scientific questioning on the part of the right, or for a consensus on reliable sources of information. Liberals read the New York Times and the New Yorker and even the Wall Street Journal and listen to NPR, and these outlets reinforce all of their world views. The journalists who work at those institutions, as I understand it, are at risk of losing their highly sought-after jobs if they embellish or distort the truth. In my mind, this makes it reasonable to believe that what I read or hear from them is "the truth." I believe that the truth exists, at least a widely accepted version of perceived reality that forms the basis of how human beings walk through life. Gravity is an absolute, for instance, and not many people refute it. Where is the New York Times of the right wing? Can I read it?

This election has made me question the very idea of reality. It seems to be a concept that holds little value for a large part of the population. When a candidate goes on TV day after day, week after week, and with a straight face, says things that are easily refuted, immediately verifiable as lies, and self-contradicting, reality ceases to exist on a certain level. Any assertion that is made by a public figure can be easily fact-checked on an almost instantaneous basis these days. The lies and fabrications and contradictions coming out of Trump during the campaign were so constant and so unchecked by his constituency, it eroded all respect for their credibility.

This is the part where I could go into all of the well-documented ways in which Trump has disrespected women and people of all races and religions, incited violence, undermined the democratic process, cheated on his taxes, admitted to sexual assault, and on and on. But we all know what a worthless piece of trash he is, it’s all on public record. That’s not the point of this. The point of this is for me to try to figure out what happened. How? Huh?? The people who voted for him did it despite who he is, not because of it.

I have to admit that on my side, there is a constant echo chamber of opinion reinforcing the self-righteous assertion that we are correct. There’s not a lot of listening going on. But there’s a reason for that. The right has been telling liberals that they are assholes for decades now. The right wing has claimed moral superiority for decades. The right wing owns patriotism, it owns support of our troops, it owns the church, it owns the police, the flag, the country. Obama and Clinton (Bill and Hillary) are liars and commies and un-American, blah blah blah. So why would I listen to right wingers, when all they want to do is tell me what a piece of shit I am? I’d rather listen to my smart friends, and journalists and politicians who are trying to fix the world.

Which leads me to the part of this that makes me the most sad and angry. The reason why none of this makes any sense is that everyone I know has spent their entire adult lives supporting the working class, supporting the underdog, supporting the under-represented, the ones left behind, the people with no voice. I vote for the candidates who want to raise my taxes, not lower them, so that working people can have a higher minimum wage. This is personally against my self-interest, but I believe in the American experiment. I vote for candidates who want to help poor people get health care. I vote for candidates who want to take the corporate interests out of politics. I support candidates who want to keep people out of jail for minor infractions or drug charges. I vote for people who want to pump money into education and medicine and sustainable energy. I support regulation of the banks, and a limited military budget.

This brings up a very important point about the military and big government. The military comprises 16% of government expenditure. All of the people who work in the military work for the government, they are all paid from taxpayer money. Only some of them are soldiers, the rest of them provide support in some other way. So if you support our troops, you support big government.

BUT… The working class doesn’t want me to stand up for it. They don’t want me to speak for them. They don’t relate to me, and they don’t relate to my candidate. They hate rich people, but they want to be rich. Culturally, they relate to the middle and lower class, which they identify with the worker’s struggle, hence the designation “working class.” They are against those who control industry, who own businesses, who own real estate. But in a subtle contradiction, they envy and venerate the rich. They want to be rich. They want to retain their cultural working class touchstones (music, food, entertainment, religion) but be wealthy. So for them, Donald Trump is a perfect avatar. He has amassed enormous sums of wealth, yet has retained a veneer of working class brashness and lack of polish.  It is all a giant con, but it has worked.

The other pieces of the puzzle are the race and gender issues. If you assume that culture is stronger than economics, then it’s possible that it can be stronger than race and gender as well.  Trump’s racist comments and his pandering to racist elements of America, and his attacks on women, can seem secondary in this light. They are a giant nuclear bomb waiting to be detonated, a scary weapon to use, but apparently the people who voted Trump are not as concerned with race, and as misogynist as we think. They can shrug off his wacky statements because they share his overall desire to subvert the smug edit. This is apparently a stronger motivator than racism and sexism. This remains to be seen.

So we seems to be in a class upheaval, not a political one. There is a strong tide that makes membership in the Trump camp not just attractive but inevitable. To identify with Hillary would be a betrayal of everything you’ve known as a person for twenty years, so anything the candidate, who happens to be Trump, can say or do, is irrelevant. It blinds intelligence and overrides gender loyalty.

The final piece is the idea of “middle class” versus “ poor.” To the new right, the middle class is not the poor. To lump them together is to insult them. To the left, they are similarly categorized, since policies to help them are similar. To be poor is no more or less shameful than to be middle class in terms of national policy, it is a matter of degree of need. It carries no value judgment. Poverty is not necessarily a fault of laziness or lack of drive, but a symptom of systemic failure.  To the right, this is flabby reasoning and it lets freeloaders off the hook. There are two opposing ideologies at work in the same brain (this is the era of cognitive dissonance, don’t forget): If you’re poor and black, it’s because you’re lazy, AND, if you’re poor and white, it’s because the government has turned its back on you.

This issue of classes overlaps with race but is not necessarily the same. To lump the poor with the middle class is politically disastrous. No one wants to be compared with a neighbor who has achieved less, that is human nature. And if more and more of the poor are white and more and more blacks are middle class, racial resentment is inevitable. This does not excuse racism (and certainly does not excuse Trump’s ham-fisted exploitation of racial friction), but sheds some light on what’s going on.

So here I am, stuck in this place we call America, raising two beautiful kids. I have love for this place, considering I’ve spent most of my life here. I’ve also spent all of my politically active existence with the party that tries to help people, and the other party has responded with a resounding “F*** you.”

For now, I can only respond by saying “F*** you” right back while I gather my thoughts and try to figure out the next step. My friends and I were exhausted on November 7th, ready for a chance to stop fighting, and start implementing the policies that we believe will heal America. These are the policies that Obama spent eight years fighting for and getting shot down at every turn by a useless, obstructionist Congress. Obama and the Democrats have been blamed for not changing the system by the very people who prevent them from changing the system. So yeah, I say “F*** you” loud and clear, Republicans.

But that is no solution. We need a new candidate to build a real, strong progressive party. I would vote for Russell Brand but he’s not eligible. I wonder if Jon Stewart would go for it… Good luck, America.


Monday, March 14, 2016

LIVE FROM CALIFORNIA HILL VOLUME 2, C GIBBS

Second installment of Live From California Hill, a music series broadcast from a bucolic mountainside studio in an undisclosed location near a large city in the East. More to come on an irregular basis.
"She's the Gun of Me" by C. Gibbs.
C. Gibbs - guitar and vocals
Kenny Savelson - drums
Frank Heer - bass
Mike Cohen - guitar
Camera and editing - Pierre de Gaillande
Audio assist - Mike Cohen

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Scalia died suddenly tonight. Awesome!!

Tonight, as I write this, on the night of February 13, 2016, I have just learned that Antonin Scalia died suddenly. My immediate reaction is one of jubilation. I am so glad that man is dead, eleven months before the end of Obama's term as President and in the middle of this weird campaign for the next President of the United States.
I am going to let my mind wander on this blog and let my thoughts run like a runny shit into the toilet or like a scared salamander into a crack under the basement.
First, let me repeat what I often say: The USA is one of the few countries in the world that doesn't have an actual name. "The United States of America" is a description that is actually false. We are far from united. Our unity is imposed by a federal government but we have completely different viewpoints and goals and values. Most people would agree that there are two or three or six or forty eight different USA's that could live very happily independently of each other. "America" refers to the entire continent and it underscores our arrogance when we erroneously use it to describe our nation.

I saw Scalia speak at an event at the University Club. It must have been around 2003. It was private lunch for about 100 people. It was right after Dick Cheney had shot his friend in the face when they were out hunting, and Scalia was present at the hunting party. Scalia gave a speech and then did a Q&A. Everyone in the audience lobbed him some partisan conservative softballs, until suddenly there was a question from a journalist from the "liberal elite." Possibly a writer for the New Yorker, I don't remember. He asked Scalia about his association with Cheney and if it constituted a conflict of interest. Scalia did not even answer the question, he just shouted the man down saying "I already answered that, you have no right to ask me that." The journalist kept pressing him but Scalia would not answer him. He just used his position at the mic to shut the guy down. I understand the need to shut hecklers down, and I've done it many times myself. But Scalia was an evil, backwards, shortsighted, fat, pencil-dick, ugly fuckface. I'm so glad he's dead. I will never pretend he was good for America. People who forget how evil Bush, Reagan, Cheney, and the whole crew were just because they get old and make some money should be ashamed of themselves.
I make more money than I ever thought I would. I'm still a lefty pinko liberal bleeding heart socialist. To be anything else is called SELLING OUT. Shame on you for being right wing. I don't care how much money you make. Being right wing means you are either stingy or you believe in the comic book. Shame on you. The only way out is to help each other. Did I mention I'm so glad Scaly Tony is dead? Lots of good people die and it is very sad, but when a bad person is a position of power dies it is a very very good thing. YAY! Short live ugly Tony the fat fuckface!
Now Obama needs to pick a new Supreme Court Justice and try to pass it by the pack of slimy warthogs in Congress before he leaves office. I know Barry can do it, he is one slick dude. This is the nail in the coffin for the OLD WAY. You are dead and dying, you old fat fuckers. Don't let the door hit you...


Tuesday, February 2, 2016

LIVE FROM CALIFORNIA HILL, VOLUME 1, JESSIE KILGUSS

On December 16, 2016, my good friend Jessie Kilguss and her fantastic band made the journey up the Taconic to California Hill. They popped the cork off the champagne bottle and christened the ship, so to speak, that is "Live From California Hill." This was the very first installment of what will be an ongoing series of live performances from the studio in the woods.
Jessie is a vey talented singer/songwriter who I had the good fortune to meet while we were both performing at an event called the Bushwhack Book Club, hosted by Susan Hwang. The BBC is an ongoing musical book clubbing which every participant reads a book, writes a song about it, and then meets at a club or bar to perform the songs. It is a great time and a much better way to express one's opinion about a book, good or bad, if you ask me, than just yapping about it.
So here I present Jessie and her band doing "Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight" which also happens to be a song inspired by a book, or at least it's title. Enjoy!

Jessie Kilguss - vocals
Mason Ingram - drums
John Kengla - bass
Kirk Schoenherr - guitar
www.jessiekilguss.com

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

To Die For Your Ideas


This week I feel sick and sad and hopeless, and I'm trying to find a light at the end of the tunnel that is humanity. Why do we keep going backwards? Are we just destined to self-destruct? Why does violence continue to exist? Why do morally reprehensible leaders use impressionable young people and religion to terrorize and control innocent populations? Why don't we learn once and for all that war is total bullshit and violence is the cancer of our species? I have no answers.

We don't seem to learn from our mistakes as a species. Society is being destroyed by a toxic potion made of three elements: 1- Our willingness to accept and glorify violence. 2- Our inability to codify and cherish human morality and meaning outside of outdated expressions of authoritarian religion. 3- Our unwillingness to challenge, destroy, and shut down the military and weapons industries.

Here are the lyrics to a song by Georges Brassens called "Mourir Pour Des Idees" along with my English translation.  The song was released on the album "Fernande" which came out in 1972. It has never been more relevant than it is today. It's so fucking sad and pathetic that this song is still so relevant today, 44 years after it was written. Wake up, humanity.

To die for your ideas, an excellent idea
One time I almost died for lack of having it
When all the teeming hordes who had it before me
Ran screaming to my door in a murderous fit
My muse eventually caved in to their request
Lamenting her mistakes, she rallied to their cause
With just a whisper of regret giving her pause
Let’s die for our ideas, but make it a slow death
OK, make it a slow, slow death

Seeing as we are free to linger in this life
Let’s take our own sweet time reaching the afterglow
For, if we hurry up, we might actually die
For an idea that’s out of fashion tomorrow
Yet, if there’s one thing sure to make you feel depressed
It is to realize upon your dying day
That you took the wrong path, that you made a mistake
Let’s die for our ideas, but make it a slow death
OK, make it a slow, slow death

The fundamentalists who cry the martyr’s cry
Are usually the ones who linger on this earth
To die for their ideals, for whatever it’s worth
Is their main obsession, it motivates their life
In almost every camp, every holy domain
These are the ones who will outlive Methuselem
Which leads me to conclude their favorite refrain’s
Let’s die for our ideas, but make it a slow death
OK, make it a slow, slow death

Ideas which demand the famous sacrifice
Are endlessly revived by sects of every stripe
And every new victim wonders before he dies
To die for an idea is lovely, but which type?
And since they’re all about the same in most respects
The wise man, when he sees their mighty banners wave
Will always hesitate, as he sidesteps the grave
Let’s die for our ideas, but make it a slow death
OK, make it a slow, slow death

If a few killing fields, a few communal graves
Were all it took to do the trick once and for all
With all the nights of terror, all the heads that fall
You’d think by now the whole world would be saved
Alas, the golden age is constantly delayed
The gods are thirsty yet, they’re never satisfied
So death and death resumes, and still more people die
Let’s die for our ideas, but make it a slow death
OK, make it a slow, slow death

Oh all you firebrands, all you fishers of men
Please be the first to die, we’ll get out of your way
But, for the love of god, let the rest of us live
Life is the last luxury left us anyway
The reaper is a crafty type and needs no help
No need to speed his work by sharpening his blade
So stop your dance of death, you’re only giving aid
Let’s die for our ideas, but make it a slow death
OK, make it a slow, slow death 

Friday, October 9, 2015

Under the Guns

There was another mass shooting of innocent people last week in the USA. This time in Oregon. I've been following the reactions in the news and on Facebook, and I am seeing some promising headway in the manner the topic is being discussed. It seems like common sense is prevailing, even among politicians. The whole conversation is being conducted from a starting point of common sense, not in the vacuum of paranoia and 2nd Amendment ranting that usually prevails.

Here are some ideas around guns that have been flying around my head lately:

1. The 2nd Amendment was created to protect the militias that were organized for the sole purpose of monitoring and intimidating slaves and keeping them from rebelling and escaping. This article in Truth-Out.org explains it in great detail:

http://www.truth-out.org/news/item/13890-the-second-amendment-was-ratified-to-preserve-slavery

This makes perfect sense. The wording of the 2nd Amendment was specifically changed from "Country" to "State" to give the southern states the right to organize, finance, and maintain the militias with which they kept slavery alive.  Contrary to popular mythology, the 2nd Amendment was not drafted to enable Americans to arm themselves and fight against oppressive outside regimes like the British who might wish to colonize and oppress them. It was created for the express purpose of allowing states to maintain the inhumane system of slavery in existence, in turn keeping their entire economies afloat with free labor. In my opinion this is enough to shut down the whole 2nd Amendment argument once and for all. If we can make the courthouse in North Carolina take down the confederate flag in a show of solidarity with African Americans and a solid statement of commitment to reverse the tide of slavery and racism, then we can and must repeal the 2nd Amendment.

2. Almost every single one of the men (they are ALL male) who perpetrate these atrocious acts of mass murder are sexually frustrated single men who feel that they have been left behind by society. They have the exact same psychological profiles as the young middle eastern men who become suicide bombers with the jihadi promise of a phalanx of virgin brides upon martyrdom. The men who shoot up movie theaters and schools and army bases in the US have often left a very visible trail of frustration and disaffection on the various chat rooms they inhabit on the internet. They gravitate to online meeting places where men can vent their rage about their powerlessness in modern society. They usually have a clear pattern of failed attempts at achievement in employment and education. Most of all, they all feel that they've been shut out from the world of sex and love. They are horny, frustrated, and pissed off. They read and write postings in the cesspool of the lowest common denominator of hidden and disconnected thought, the internet. Their views get reflected and magnified and legitimized by others with the same sad trajectory. I am not describing any of this with any judgment, I feel compassion for these guys. Every living adolescent goes through this phase. To go from being a gawky, awkward pre-adolescent to being a sexually aware teenager, with all the desires and emotions that entails, is a nightmare for every living person. I was there once, all I thought about day and night was sex, i fell in love every two weeks, and I felt constantly depressed. Everyone has this phase, and the way we work through it, with the help of parents, friends, school, sports, social groups, churches, community, and any other instrument of support is the story of how we become who we are. So why are so many young men in America getting so stuck in this phase of development? I think there are a few main reasons.
Pornography is as available as air and water. Images of impossible sexual ideal are available to everyone who seeks them out. This reinforces the double idea that sex is always perfected by perfect people, and that you are not ever going to fuck these perfect people so don't even try. Instead of a sexual awakening based on reality and discovery and love, sexual discovery is cut off mid-stride by the impossible ideals of pornography.

3. The violent imagery and glorification of violence in our media culture is definitely one part of the problem. Everywhere we look, there are advertisements with guns in them for movies, TV shows and video games. The irresponsible and dull-witted people responsible for "content-creation" in our world today resort to the fetishistic image of the gun at every turn. Putting a gun in a movie is like putting a rock song in a scene. It is lazy and trite and shows that the narrative is too weak to keep the viewer's attention. Both are signs of unimaginative filmmaking at best. At worst, using a gun to spice up the action is contributing to the deluge of violent imagery that fuels alienated people's violent fantasies. A person who feels cut off from the world, spends all of his or her time online, and sees watches a parade of unrealistic killings all day long begins to believe that behavior is the norm. Video games train people to be desensitized to killing. Movies treat violence as a cool, sexy selling point. If your grasp on reality is tenuous because of a chemical imbalance or a deep-seated antipathy towards your fellow humans or both, feeding this shit into the mix will make you a killer. Not all the time, but at this point in our fucked up country, it happens about once a week.


Hilary Clinton has taken a real stand on the issue. She's ready to fight the NRA and the special interests who oppose sensible gun legislation. For that reason alone I will vote for her. If she or any other politician can take on the other two prongs of the problem, mental health and the violence of our culture, then we may stand a chance of creating a world that our kids can actually live in without fear of being gunned down like sheep.






Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Drowning in your shallow blues

I wrote this song for the Bushwick Book Club, a musical book club where all the participants read a book and write a song about it and perform it in front of a live audience. This was originally inspired by the book Moby Dick, but then it became about the musician Moby, and then about DJ's in general. It was performed live on the Frying Pan, a boat/venue in NYC on May 5 2015.

What’s another name for Richard
Or another word for cock
Can you paint a mental picture
Of a dolphin playing rock?
Are you wild?
Are you wild?
Are you tame?
Will you hunt the deepest ocean? And the village record bins
Find a needle and go poke it in a fat and juicy fish
If you are a deep explorer, you must take it all the way
Don’t just be a vegetarian, be a vegan and press Play
Are you mild?
Are you wild?
Are you lame?
Producer, DJ, collage, or pastiche
Sailing on semantics by a rocky beach
Why do we still feed on Leviathan juice?
Why do we survive off what others produce?
I’m drowning in your shallow blues
Can you stop your blubbering, stop rehashing what’s been hashed
Some things just cannot be conquered, quit harpooning on the past
From the port-holes of Nolita, to the dives of Chinatown
You can carve a little tea room so the models can sit down
Built a solid reputation as an electro DJ
Spend your every waking moment seeking treasure in the waves
Are you mild?
Are you wild?
Are you tame?
Why do I care so much? What is it to me?
Why do I give a fuck? I need to get more sleep.